Why Holding Your Frequency Changes Everything”
Entry: March 15, 2025This morning, I woke up feeling relatively rested. Before sleep, I gave myself a conscious command: “I will wake up clear, rested, energized.” And it worked. I’ve realized how powerful it is to set an energetic directive before sleep it’s like my body listens and recalibrates in alignment with my intention.
As I drove to my son’s Taekwondo tournament, I felt good but then my mind began replaying the situation with my teammate at work. I caught myself internally rehashing the events, having imaginary conversations, and reflecting on what I should’ve said. That’s when I paused and realized: this wasn’t just about her. It was about me.
Pattern Revealed: The mental loop wasn’t seeking resolution with her it was seeking reconciliation with a deeper part of myself that had bypassed truth to preserve comfort. I noticed how I had defaulted to the classic “It’s okay” response even when it wasn’t. When she casually apologized for her mistake by blaming her period, I initially accepted it to avoid friction, but I caught myself and corrected it mid-sentence: “We’ll deal with this on Monday.” That moment was a crack in the old shell of people-pleasing.
Mirror of My Old Self: What’s fascinating is that I can see myself in her. I, too, have carried insecurity, fear of feedback, the need for emotional coddling. I’ve spent more time giving her pep talks and building her confidence than being honest about the lack of skill she brings to the table. Why? Because I’ve been afraid of how she’d react how she might turn cold or moody. But that fear has only enabled underperformance and drained my energy.
What I’m really learning is this:
Leadership isn’t just about empathy; it’s about clarity, standards, and energetic integrity.
As I arrived at the tournament, I noticed how grounded I felt more so than I expected. My ex was cordial. He introduced me to my son’s friend’s parents, calling me “his mom.” That small act was significant. It was the first time in a long time that I felt seen by him not as someone to avoid or resist, but as part of my son’s life.
Subtle Timeline Shift: There was a softness in the field. The dynamics weren’t tense. My son took time to warm up to me, but eventually, he did playing on my back, smiling, laughing. And I felt strong not emotionally desperate or needy. Just present.
I witnessed my ex engaging with our son, reminiscing about how he would’ve loved to do something like this as a kid. I could see how much of his identity is projected into our son his need for structure, success, and discipline. And while that can create pressure, I was able to observe it with neutrality. I wasn’t trying to compete or insert myself into the dynamic. I just held my ground.
Old Patterns Dissolved: In the past, I would’ve felt guilt, shame, or a need to prove myself. Today, I felt steady. I didn’t shrink, overcompensate, or perform. I just was.
One of the most unexpected moments came from a little boy, around three years old, who was sitting behind me with his family. He was drawn to me leaning on me, smiling, throwing kisses, even though his parents said he’s normally shy. His older brother also kept smiling at me, giving me high-fives.
Energetic Reflection: Children feel frequency. This boy wasn’t responding to what I did, but who I was being. This mirrored something back to me: when I am fully present, grounded, and sovereign, I become magnetic not because I’m trying to attract, but because I’m being authentic. This wasn’t about my ex. Or proving anything to anyone. It was about embodying me. And others especially children; can feel when someone is rooted in their essence.
Observing Old Energetic Dynamics with New Eyes
My ex’s best friend also arrived, and his energy was heavy, judgmental. My son ran to him, and I stepped back. I could feel the wall of energy that his friend brought with him this unspoken superiority, the same energy I used to internalize as my own inadequacy. But today, I saw through it. Later, I overheard him talking about his own son how he ran away at 14, got into drugs, and still doesn’t talk to him at 36. But instead of reflecting on what may have gone wrong, he told the story as if his son was simply weak or undisciplined. It was all his son’s fault. The man, who judges others so quickly, has never held space for his own reflection. Self-righteousness is a shield one that protects him from the pain of failure, from confronting his own emotional blind spots.
What used to shake me their strong opinions, their dominant tones, their rigid beliefs no longer have the same power. I used to walk into conversations with my truth and walk out confused, forgetting what I believed because I was absorbing their forceful energy. But now? I observe. I see. I remain me.
The Deeper Shift: Internal Alignment = Timeline Shift
At one point, I accidentally called my ex “babe” when I was trying to get his attention for something. It slipped, and I noticed it but I didn’t spiral. Later, I sent him the videos and photos I had taken of our son, and he responded with a simple “thank you.” Again, not a big deal on the surface but energetically, that was new.
His acknowledgment wasn’t forced. It was a sign that we are interacting in a different version of our dynamic. And that’s when it hit me:
When we shift internally, we don’t just feel different; we literally align with a different timeline where a new version of reality unfolds.
He hasn’t “changed” I’m just no longer resonating with the version of him that needed to be cold and dismissive. And I’m no longer magnetizing the version of myself that needed his approval. I’m in a new frequency. A new timeline. And that changes everything.
Final Reflections
Today was a convergence of many things: my role as a leader, a mother, a co-parent, and a sovereign being. I observed how much I’ve softened, how much I’ve stabilized, and how much more peace there is in simply being me.
I don’t need to be loud to be felt.
I don’t need to explain to be understood.
I don’t need to control energy I just need to hold mine.
This is embodiment. This is integration. This is the frequency of Living Codes.
