Holding the Primal, Trusting the Stillness
April 8, 2025 -Living Codes: The Embodied Journal
It was raining as I left work. A soft, rhythmic downpour, like the earth was already preparing the field. I was heading home to clean my space before my evening session with a New Temple Walker whose name we’ll call D the session is scheduled for 8 PM.
I realized today is April 8 and the session is at 8pm. Hmm.. A new portal. It felt like something, but I didn’t know what and that was the teaching from the very beginning:
“You don’t need to know. Just trust that your field knows.”
As I drove, I felt nervous. Not overwhelmed, but reverent. Like something meaningful was coming through, and my body already knew. So I tuned in for a body scan and I could feel the sensitivity in my nervous system, my throat, my sacral. I could feel how much light had been moving through me and how my body, still so tender, needed more grounding.
An inner knowing dropped in:
“You are not regressing, you are integrating more consciously than ever before.”
And so I listened when I got home I hydrated, I laid on the floor and I came home to my breath.
The Session
When D logged in, I noticed right away, he had smoked. He was buzzing, his energy felt disorganized, in the mind. Still, I followed the energy. I began in speaking to him in Spanish, feeling into the edges of comfort.
He spoke. I listened and then I guided him to breathe.
What unfolded next was primal.
His body began moving; eyes rolled back, head tilting, arms swaying, chest pounding.
It wasn’t performative. But it wasn’t integrated either. He stood on his knees. He yelled silently. He flexed like a warrior. He moved like something ancient was surfacing, like the wild man within had been uncaged.
At one point, I asked him to lie down. The camera couldn’t see him anymore, but I could still feel the field.
So I dropped in, too. Not all the way, but enough to let the frequencies and sounds move through me.
That’s when the grunting came. The deep gorilla throat calls. The wild sounds of something older than language.
I didn’t know why I was making those sounds, but I trusted them. Because the truth is, I never really know.
I bring through the frequencies that are needed in the field, even before I understand them. And in this season of my path, I’m still learning how to trust myself again, how to feel safe in my own energy and in the fields of others as they unravel.
My multidimensional awareness is still coming back online during sessions, not because I’ve lost it, but because what’s primary right now is not “seeing” everything. It’s being the field of resonance. Everything else is secondary.
After the session, D looked stunned. He said:
“That was incredible. I went on a whole journey. I saw myself as a monkey, like a gorilla. I felt all this primal energy move through me. At one point I felt like this rage and I saw myself chopping the heads off politicians. Then toward the end, I saw my father’s face who passed away and I cried.
He was moved.
And he wanted me to tell him what it all meant.
He asked if I saw what he saw. And the truth is… yes and no.
My vessel expands to hold the field, and I allow divine intelligence to move through me.
I sound, I breathe, I activate.
I clear density and reorganize energetic structures.
This is a significant part of the process, one that often goes unseen.
While the initiate is journeying, I’m working deeply in the unseen layers of the field, rewriting the geometry of their energetic body, restoring fragmented timelines, and calling soul pieces home. It’s not just about what’s expressed on the surface. It’s about creating an environment where the body remembers how to heal itself, how to hold more light, and how to reorganize into coherence.
On one level, I know exactly what’s happening, but on another, my human self doesn’t need to track the full details of someone else’s journey. Because that’s not what I’m here for. And in that moment, a deeper knowing dropped in.
A remembrance code for me:
“I’m not here to give people answers. I’m not even here to tell them what they saw. I’m here to hold the frequency that activates the journey. I’m not the narrator of their myth. I am the field where they remember how to feel it.”
And that, for me, was everything. Because let’s be honest, too many of us have become dependent on someone else to tell us who we are, to reflect us back to ourselves. But where we’re going, and what I’m here to offer, is remembrance through self.
Yes, clarity may come.
Yes, pieces may drop in later.
But for now, for me and those walking into my field, the gift is in allowing the experience to speak for itself. To let the energy move before the mind tries to explain it.
Sometimes, the initiation is in not knowing.
Not understanding right away.
Not grasping for the full picture.
Sometimes, it’s just trusting that something profound happened and having the patience to watch the insights arrive like breadcrumbs, scattered through days, dreams, and synchronicities.
Where we often go sideways is when we try to name the sacred before we’ve let it land. When we rush to label instead of feel. This is how spiritual ego forms and why the era of external psychics telling us about ourselves is fading.
Because if it feeds the ego but bypasses the soul, it’s no longer truth. Real guidance leads you inward.
I’m not here to be that mirror anymore.
I’m here to be the field.
And that… is more than enough.
After the session, he asked if he should go out dancing. He was still buzzing with energy, and then he asked if it was okay to drink. I responded gently: “My advice would be not to drink tonight. You opened a lot, and your field is wide open. That much stimulation could overwhelm your nervous system.” That’s all I said. Because I’m not here to control, I’m here to mirror.
Later, when I tuned into my own body, I felt a subtle tug in the tendons between my left neck and shoulder. My body’s tech began gently activating, and my head was pulled to the right in a stretch, as if something old was releasing itself. The left side, my receptive channel, had absorbed more than I realized. It was a visceral release of tension from holding such wild, masculine energy in my field.
And now my body was recalibrating: the inner feminine releasing the responsibility, the inner masculine stepping into stabilize. In essence, I was resetting my polarity, from holding external masculine chaos to reuniting my own internal harmony. That’s somatic intelligence at work, real-time recalibration.
And then another key dropped in:
“This session wasn’t only about what moved through him, it was a co-creative unfolding, revealing just as much to me as it did to him. This was about me being able to hold primal masculine energy without collapsing. It was about staying rooted when someone else’s energy is chaotic, raw, and unfiltered. It was about remembering that my stillness is enough.”
I did notice, at times, after the journey was completed that I spoke more than was necessary.
That I explained. Offered a map. But I also caught it and I softened. Because I don’t need to explain what I do. I just need to trust what I’m being.
Stillness is the axis. The center of the field. The space where the real transmission lands.
Post-Session Realizations:
People will want answers. But I’m not here to be the Oracle. I’m the mirror. The midwife. The remembering.
The more I trust the silence… the more I become the permission field others didn’t know they needed.
Light language isn’t performance. It’s resonance. And when I grunt like an ape, it’s because that’s what the soul across from me needs to hear to unlock themselves.
I don’t need to narrate the session. I don’t need to fill the space. I just need to remain in the axis of who I am.
Living Codes Anchored Today:
The body is the bridge, not the mind. My voice is a tuning fork. Stillness is the center of the field.
Light language isn’t to impress, it’s to resonate. Primal doesn’t mean dangerous.
Chaos doesn’t mean collapse.
I’m not the answer. I’m the mirror that helps them ask the right questions.
