Witnessing Without Running

August 7th, 2025

I came home tonight and went to say hi to my mom. She was lying there with a heating pad on her stomach, telling me she wasn’t feeling well.

A few days ago, we received a letter from the hospital about a visit she made while I was in LA. She’d gone to the ER for a UTI, but the ten-day antibiotic they gave her was the wrong one. The bacteria was resistant, so they had to prescribe a different medication. On top of that, she has a tooth infection. And she’s still dealing with her ongoing bowel issues — the ones that began years ago after her perforation. She can’t hold her movements, and lately they’ve been causing more infections.

As she spoke, I started to feel her pain. Then I felt my own, that ache that comes when I can feel someone’s suffering and can’t fix it. The part of me that wanted to run, because staying meant touching an old wound: the child in me who used to feel everyone’s pain but couldn’t do anything about it. Back then, disconnecting felt like the only way to survive.

But today, something was different.

I realized: The Great Mother is here to feel.
Mother is in the feeling.

She doesn’t work when we beg her.
She works when we trust her, surrender to her, and let ourselves feel.

She asks us to be willing to feel it all — because when we can feel and hold it, she can move through us.

So in that moment, I chose to stay.

I decided to work on my mom. In the past, I hadn’t really worked on her because I didn’t trust that I could be fully present — that I could hold her energy without collapsing into it. But this time, I went in. Hands on her. Field open. Heart steady.

And by choosing to stay instead of run, I realized something important:

Staying doesn’t mean drowning in suffering.

The Great Mother doesn’t get lost in the suffering.
She witnesses it.

And in her witnessing — and in our willingness to feel — Mother can move through the field and awaken, heal, restore, and bring miracles.

I realized this wasn’t about forcing a miracle, pushing energy, or begging Mother from a desperate, victim place. It was about surrendering into her. Trusting her. Being willing to stay with the suffering without being consumed by it.

As I touched my mom, rocking her gently with the vibration of my hands, I felt into her essence — her beauty, her strength, the strength it took for her body to endure so much.

I invited her to drop into her body.

“Choose to be here.
It’s okay to come in now.
You can come in.”

I asked her to use her magic — to bring her consciousness more fully into her body.

Tears streamed down my face, silent but constant. I telepathically spoke to her essence:

Thank you for carrying the torch for me.
Thank you for leading the way.
Thank you for taking on what you took on so you could open this path.

I take the torch now.
You can let go.
You’re free.
You can drop in now.

Now you get to be healed.
To be in joy.
To travel with me.
To open your voice.
To speak the miracle of Mother — because you are whole.

It wasn’t overwhelming. It was pure feeling. Pure sensation. No thinking.

My eyesight blurred with tears. At one point, I knelt beside her bed, bowed my head, and placed my hands in a triangle. In that moment, it felt like my mom, me, and Divine Mother were all inside the same field — and in front of me stood my future daughter and my son. The sacred union. The future.

At times, my mom’s body would jolt — her feet, her shoulder — and I could feel her energy wanting to come alive. It was beautiful.

What I noticed was this: the more I relaxed, the more those movements arose in her. The moment my own field softened, her body responded.

That’s when I knew — I’m at a place now where I can hold the field for her. Not by efforting, but by surrendering into the field itself.

As I sat with it, a truth settled deeply into my body:

To do this work, I must be willing to witness suffering without running — and without collapsing into it.

Not from a place of seeing anyone as a victim, but from a place of sovereignty.

For the first time, I was seeing my mom through sovereign eyes — not victimhood. And I could feel the depth of that shift.

To witness suffering without running. Without drowning. To hold it steady so Mother can move through the field.

Living Codes

Witness Without Running
The medicine is not in escaping suffering or drowning in it — it’s in holding it with steadiness so Mother can move.

Mother Works Through Feeling
Begging from desperation closes the field. Surrender and willingness to feel open it.

Sovereignty in the Field
See those in pain through the eyes of their wholeness, not their wounds. This allows you to hold the field without carrying their story.

The Torch Transmission
Honoring the path laid before you while claiming the next part of the mission is an energetic handover — ancestral and personal — activating both liberation and continuation.

Stay, But Do Not Drown
Staying present is not engulfment. It is the choice to root in the center, where witnessing and miracle meet.