Closing the Loop on Energetic Projections

When the Codes Aren’t Held: Discerning False Light and Closing the Loop on Energetic Projections

There are moments on the path of embodiment when the body knows before the mind catches up — when the field tightens not from fear, but in a sacred act of protection. This is a remembrance of one of those moments.

I had been going to him for about two months. I found his work online and felt guided to book a session. He offered massage and energy work, and because my field tends to activate so strongly during bodywork, I thought someone familiar with energy might be able to hold it. When my energy moves, it can be a lot — especially during massage, when the body is unwinding and the field opens naturally.

The first couple of sessions felt great. His energy was grounded and professional, and he didn’t react when my field began to activate. He seemed able to stay present, allowing the current to move without trying to control it. Those early sessions helped me release and settle deeper into my body.

But the more comfortable I became, the more my system began to open — and when my energy opens, it amplifies. It expands into the room, activating the field of whoever is near. People often feel charged or energized when it happens, sometimes even overwhelmed. And it was in that space — when my energy began to run more fully — that something in the dynamic shifted.

He started to engage differently. I could feel his attention move from holding space to wanting to feel my energy. It was subtle at first — small comments about how powerful my field was, how unique my energy felt — but underneath those words was a different current. The energy had become less about support and more about fascination.

Then he started reaching out outside of sessions. Texts about things I’d mentioned, about a show I was watching, or about how he felt connected to my journey. He told me he was watching the same show “to understand where I was spiritually.” Another time, he said that if I ever felt the urge to reach out to him, I should.

Eventually, he offered me a free session. He said it was an energetic exchange — that he wanted to work with me when his energy was especially strong, because he was graduating a Reiki class and wanted to give back. His tone was generous, but something about the offer didn’t feel clean.

Still, I said yes. I told myself I was being guided there for a reason.

When I arrived, I could feel his excitement. He wanted to talk before starting — to share about his own journey, to hear about mine. As he spoke, my body began to close. Not in resistance, but in wisdom.

What unfolded that evening wasn’t trauma and it wasn’t violation. It was education. The field showed me, once again, what it feels like when someone offers something that looks like love or service but is laced with subtle hunger — the desire to be near purity, not to hold it, but to drink from it.

This wasn’t new. I had seen this dynamic before.

What I recognized this time was how clearly I could feel it in real time: the reaching, the mirroring, the spiritual flattery masked as curiosity. The desire to “work on me” not from reverence, but to receive something from my field.

In the past, I would have confused this for connection. Now, I saw the truth: it wasn’t about me. It was about his projection of who he thought I was — a fantasy of purity, a narrative that justified his reach.

When he began working on my body, I tracked my energy carefully. My breath shifted. My nervous system didn’t feel safe enough to open. I burped the entire session — not from digestion, but because my system was trying to discharge what couldn’t flow. That’s what happens when codes are present but not held.

When someone doesn’t know how to hold the current, it backflows. It creates pressure in the field. My system knew not to open. That isn’t regression. That’s sovereignty.

Later, he sent a message about grounding — about how my energy should be running in the background more consistently. As if my containment were an error. But it wasn’t. It was discernment. My energy flows where it is meant to flow, not where it is merely invited.

This moment crystallized a deeper truth:

Not everyone who offers love is offering it in integrity.
Not everyone who serves is doing it from wholeness.
And not everyone who admires your essence knows how to honor it.

What I’ve come to remember is that I no longer need to decode people’s intentions by reflecting subtle mirrors back to them. I no longer need to over-explain or hint at distortions in hopes they will see it.

I can see it. That is enough.

The closure comes quietly, without a story.
When the codes aren’t held, I no longer offer access —
not from anger, not from fear,
but from love for the frequency I’m here to transmit.

This is what it means to go first:
to embody the frequency before anyone reflects it,
to speak the truth of energy even when others think their intentions are pure,
to know that false light isn’t evil — it’s simply untended pain wrapped in projection.

And most importantly, to no longer abandon your knowing to stay polite.

I walk forward now more sealed.
More alive.
More refined.

And I thank my body for always being the first to see what my mind still tries to justify.

Entry sealed. Frequency intact.